In my adolescent years, I think it was all of high school and some college. The educational aspect of school was good, learned alot. But the social and relationship stuff was absent. They say high school is the best years of your life? Well mine sucked. I was in a higher education magnet school program in my school, so we were basically separated from the rest of the "normal" kids. We basically stayed in the same group of students for most our classes and for all 4 years of high school. And within this isolated group, I was even more isolated. I of coarse attached myself to a group of friends, but I was more of the accuaintance, they all had their inside jokes or knew each other from way back and knew more about eachother than I did. I was just glad to have someone to sit with at lunch or for group work. Granted I didn't really try hard to get more involved or integrated in the group but I was just a really really quiet shy girl who stood in the back trying to avoid being seen. I was the ugly duckling who was ignored and just left alone most of the time. I wasn't picked on, but rather just left alone throughout college too. To feel invisible is the worst feeling ever, its like you don't even exist. Well I got through those years and still to this day haven't heard much from many of those old school mates. With the exception of one, Maria who I never knew we had so much in common. I think if I was more open back then and more comfortable with myself, we could have been better friends. She is still the only person from HS that I still talk to from time to time.
In my adult years...probably when my first boyfriend dumped me and every time a guy would cut me off or just stop talking to me. The feeling of rejection is horrible. I think everyone can attribute to that, its a part of life though. Gotta take the Good with the Bad. I just hope I get more of the Good soon...
I know I'm rambling now...so I'll just stop at that.
I was kind of an idiot back in high school. I was also on a self-destructive path, so if I was ever less than nice, I'm sorry. I'm so glad that we can be friends now, even if we're not as close as we could be. You're the only person I know in "real life" that reads my blog and I always appreciate all your input. I hope we can continue to be friends and support each other through our inevitable troubles. =)
ReplyDeleteMaria, you were never mean to me, no one really was. I was just venting about how I felt in general. You know how all of us in IB were already isolated, well factor in my quietness and shyness and it made me more of an outsider, but I was not blaming it on anyone in particular. I suppose we were all different people in high school, and it kinda sucks that we're all so separated now. But I'm glad your still around and that we can be friends.
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